No More Excuses...Please Help A Wannabe Songwriter

Anything about MUSIC but doesn't fit into the forums above.
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thecontrolcentre
KVRAF
24468 posts since 27 Jul, 2005 from the wilds of wanny

Post Mon Jul 22, 2019 8:23 am

Wags say thanks? C'mon man ...
Songwriter Bio


My name is Steven Wagenheim. I have been a songwriter since 1977. I am equally capable in multiple genres.

Now that the blah, blah, blah is out of the way (I hate boring people with talk) let’s get down to the good stuff.

Samples of my work.
Genius ;)

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el-bo (formerly ebow)
KVRAF
13457 posts since 24 May, 2009 from A galaxy, far far away

Re: No More Excuses...Please Help A Wannabe Songwriter

Post Mon Jul 22, 2019 8:25 am

vurt wrote:
Mon Jul 22, 2019 8:20 am
wagtunes wrote:
Mon Jul 22, 2019 8:08 am
mgw38 wrote:
Mon Jul 22, 2019 8:01 am
wagtunes wrote:
Mon Jul 22, 2019 7:39 am
Okay, web page is done. 2nd link on main page, Songwriter Bio. Open to suggestions for improvement.

http://wagsrfm.com/
I evaluate a lot of portfolios for my work. The first thing you usually want to make clear is what the purpose of the portfolio is. Do you want to attract customers, or is it just for informational purposes? Do you intend to use it for applying for a job or for school? Does it support some other part of your business (e.g. your libraries)? Etc.

The other thing I see a lot of people do which is an absolute no-no, is to pat yourself on the back. You never call yourself "capable" regardless how capable you actually are. It is purely the work that is talking on your behalf. And, btw, you also never say something like "let the work talk for itself" either because that is completely self evident.

I would rewrite the first paragraph a bit to establish the purpose of the bio. Then drop the second paragraph completely, it is not necessary. You say you "do not want to write about boring stuff". That is perfectly fine. But what exactly is the purpose of writing about what you are not writing about?

And also drop the first part of the first paragraph after the portfolio pieces (up to "I'm quite versatile") and fold the second half of that paragraph into the very last one.

Depending on who you are writing it for, a slightly less colloquial language might help as well.
You're welcome to rewrite it for me.
or "thanks, is there any chance you could give me a few pointers to make it more appealing?"
You've got the Waggenheim dictionary, also :tu:

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wagtunes
KVRAF
16910 posts since 8 Oct, 2014

Re: No More Excuses...Please Help A Wannabe Songwriter

Post Mon Jul 22, 2019 8:36 am

Right now I have a bigger problem. I can't get the files on the site to play and I'm not a tech guy so I have no idea what the problem is. So I have to fix that before I can fix the text.

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mgw38
KVRAF
1939 posts since 26 Jul, 2015 from Philadelphia

Re: No More Excuses...Please Help A Wannabe Songwriter

Post Mon Jul 22, 2019 8:52 am

wagtunes wrote:
Mon Jul 22, 2019 8:08 am
You're welcome to rewrite it for me.
You have no idea how often I hear that. :lol:


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wagtunes
KVRAF
16910 posts since 8 Oct, 2014

Re: No More Excuses...Please Help A Wannabe Songwriter

Post Mon Jul 22, 2019 8:55 am

mgw38 wrote:
Mon Jul 22, 2019 8:52 am
wagtunes wrote:
Mon Jul 22, 2019 8:08 am
You're welcome to rewrite it for me.
You have no idea how often I hear that. :lol:
If you want, you can take a 2nd look. If not, that's fine too.

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martinjuenke
KVRAF
4239 posts since 28 Dec, 2015 from Hanover, Germany

Re: No More Excuses...Please Help A Wannabe Songwriter

Post Mon Jul 22, 2019 8:59 am

mgw38 wrote:
Mon Jul 22, 2019 8:52 am
wagtunes wrote:
Mon Jul 22, 2019 8:08 am
You're welcome to rewrite it for me.
You have no idea how often I hear that. :lol:
After all your worthwhile hints and time you invested into writing them into your post the answer of the wannabe songwriter is quite disrespectful and annoying. :roll:
With such an unsociable attitude he will not have any success. :dog:

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thecontrolcentre
KVRAF
24468 posts since 27 Jul, 2005 from the wilds of wanny

Re: No More Excuses...Please Help A Wannabe Songwriter

Post Mon Jul 22, 2019 9:01 am

martinjuenke wrote:
Mon Jul 22, 2019 8:59 am
mgw38 wrote:
Mon Jul 22, 2019 8:52 am
wagtunes wrote:
Mon Jul 22, 2019 8:08 am
You're welcome to rewrite it for me.
You have no idea how often I hear that. :lol:
After all your worthwhile hints and time you invested into writing them into your post the answer of the wannabe songwriter is quite disrespectful and annoying. :roll:
With such an unsociable attitude he will not have any success. :dog:
You don't say? :wink:

Etienne1973
KVRian
512 posts since 8 Feb, 2013 from Switzerland

Re: No More Excuses...Please Help A Wannabe Songwriter

Post Mon Jul 22, 2019 9:02 am

thecontrolcentre wrote:
Mon Jul 22, 2019 6:31 am
Michael L wrote:
Sun Jul 21, 2019 4:08 pm
... be generally likeable, and easy to deal with! :party:
That's funny ... :hihi:
thecontrolcentre wrote:
Mon Jul 22, 2019 8:13 am
wagtunes wrote:
Mon Jul 22, 2019 8:08 am
You're welcome to rewrite it for me.
You could pay someone to do that ...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d_19xE7cqGw

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mgw38
KVRAF
1939 posts since 26 Jul, 2015 from Philadelphia

Re: No More Excuses...Please Help A Wannabe Songwriter

Post Mon Jul 22, 2019 9:02 am

wagtunes wrote:
Mon Jul 22, 2019 8:55 am
mgw38 wrote:
Mon Jul 22, 2019 8:52 am
wagtunes wrote:
Mon Jul 22, 2019 8:08 am
You're welcome to rewrite it for me.
You have no idea how often I hear that. :lol:
If you want, you can take a 2nd look. If not, that's fine too.
Much better. A bit on the short side, but much better. I would probably add a brief statement explaining what the artists would do with your material. What is the value you are adding to their work?

"I am looking for up and coming artists who are searching for new material to..."

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wagtunes
KVRAF
16910 posts since 8 Oct, 2014

Re: No More Excuses...Please Help A Wannabe Songwriter

Post Mon Jul 22, 2019 9:11 am

mgw38 wrote:
Mon Jul 22, 2019 9:02 am
wagtunes wrote:
Mon Jul 22, 2019 8:55 am
mgw38 wrote:
Mon Jul 22, 2019 8:52 am
wagtunes wrote:
Mon Jul 22, 2019 8:08 am
You're welcome to rewrite it for me.
You have no idea how often I hear that. :lol:
If you want, you can take a 2nd look. If not, that's fine too.
Much better. A bit on the short side, but much better. I would probably add a brief statement explaining what the artists would do with your material. What is the value you are adding to their work?

"I am looking for up and coming artists who are searching for new material to..."
Thank you. I'm sorry if I came off as whatever I came off as before. I'm frustrated, burnt out and a whole lot of other things that I'd rather not get into. Remember, it's been 42 years.

I will edit again.

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thecontrolcentre
KVRAF
24468 posts since 27 Jul, 2005 from the wilds of wanny

Re: No More Excuses...Please Help A Wannabe Songwriter

Post Mon Jul 22, 2019 9:13 am

Change the dark gray text to white. Its very hard to read on that black background.

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wagtunes
KVRAF
16910 posts since 8 Oct, 2014

Re: No More Excuses...Please Help A Wannabe Songwriter

Post Mon Jul 22, 2019 9:14 am

Edited. Probably not worded as well as possible. Any suggestions on improving what I did are welcome.

User avatar
thecontrolcentre
KVRAF
24468 posts since 27 Jul, 2005 from the wilds of wanny

Re: No More Excuses...Please Help A Wannabe Songwriter

Post Mon Jul 22, 2019 9:22 am

I guess I'm on ignore ...

User avatar
mgw38
KVRAF
1939 posts since 26 Jul, 2015 from Philadelphia

Re: No More Excuses...Please Help A Wannabe Songwriter

Post Mon Jul 22, 2019 9:24 am

wagtunes wrote:
Mon Jul 22, 2019 9:11 am
Thank you. I'm sorry if I came off as whatever I came off as before. I'm frustrated, burnt out and a whole lot of other things that I'd rather not get into. Remember, it's been 42 years.
No worries. Bios or portfolios are extremely personal things. A bit of a push back is a normal reaction. :tu:

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