The Wagtunes Corner

[Bansaw]

My 2 cents...
I Only Smile when it hurts:
0:36 After the arps, I was set up to experience the drums and bass coming in and a fuller sound, but it didn't happen. Felt a bit let down.
0:50 Nice chord progression. Bass/Drums could be a bit thicker.
1:30 like the guitar solo.
2:44 decent bridge
3:47 liked the ending with the guitar
Overall: very good, kept me hooked. Production and arrangement at the start could be worked on. I love your chord progressions.

[wagtunes]

I love the title "I Only Smile When it Hurts." Great observation that smiling and wincing in pain are such similar expressions.

Very memorable song. I am enjoying the extra effort you are putting into your music. Your passion and commitment shines right through. The arrangement was very varied but it still hung together for me. Exciting times in Wagworld!

It took me a long time to turn that last corner and really work on my music the way I always should have.

And with all that, I'm still not even close to being where I want to be.

[wagtunes]

My 2 cents...
I Only Smile when it hurts:
0:36 After the arps, I was set up to experience the drums and bass coming in and a fuller sound, but it didn't happen. Felt a bit let down.
0:50 Nice chord progression. Bass/Drums could be a bit thicker.
1:30 like the guitar solo.
2:44 decent bridge
3:47 liked the ending with the guitar
Overall: very good, kept me hooked. Production and arrangement at the start could be worked on. I love your chord progressions.

Thanks for the detailed feedback. I am still a work in process. I'm getting there but have a long way to go. Finally admitting that to myself is the first step to getting to where I'd like to be.

I don't think I'll be writing songs at the breakneck speed that I used to write them anymore.

Maybe it's for the best.

[wagtunes]

After 6 days, 4th track from my upcoming CD "2020"

I dialed back the extreme modulations for this one and tried to make things flow a little more smoothly. Hopefully, I didn't go to far in the opposite direction. I think there's enough variety in the arrangement but I'll let you guys decide.

Hold You Like There's No Tomorrow

No one knows the time that they have left
No one knows if tomorrow's gonna come
No one has the inside track on the future
No one knows when all we have is done

I cannot guarantee our destiny
The only thing that I can do

Hold you like there's no tomorrow
Hold you like the end is near
Hold you like there's no tomorrow
Without qualms and without fear
Let me show you what forever means girl
When there's nothing left for us to lose
I can make the stars shine like a diamond
I can give you everything you choose
Hold you like there's no tomorrow
Let eternal love ring through

Years they pass like days before you know it
Looking back you wonder where they've gone
Thinking about all the time you've wasted
Wondering just how you did go on

Repeat Pre Chorus & Chorus

Instrumental Break

Repeat Chorus

https://soundcloud.com/steven-wagenheim ... o-tomorrow

[The Noodlist]

That's the best of yours I've heard so far, very catchy, could be shorter and have key change or a bridge.

[wagtunes]

That's the best of yours I've heard so far, very catchy, could be shorter and have key change or a bridge.

Thanks for the listen and the feedback. Paul McCartney's "Let Em In" was over 5 minutes and I thought that could have been shorter. Yet it was a huge hit. So what do I know?

Anyway, glad you thought it was catchy.

[The Noodlist]

Thanks for the listen and the feedback. Paul McCartney's "Let Em In" was over 5 minutes and I thought that could have been shorter. Yet it was a huge hit. So what do I know?

Anyway, glad you thought it was catchy.

If Macca sang your song would be a hit?
Most probably.
Just like if he sang someone else's.
Yours reminded me of Jeff Lyne, wouldn't be out of place on the radio done by an artist.

[wagtunes]

Thanks for the listen and the feedback. Paul McCartney's "Let Em In" was over 5 minutes and I thought that could have been shorter. Yet it was a huge hit. So what do I know?

Anyway, glad you thought it was catchy.

If Macca sang your song would be a hit?
Most probably.
Just like if he sang someone else's.
Yours reminded me of Jeff Lyne.

Yeah, I get the Jeff Lynne comparisons on a lot of my stuff. Guess it comes from listening to ELO since 1972

[JonSolo]

Zero. Zilch. Nada. Now that my advice is out of the way...

Awesome track dude! Ha, I should send you the rest of Pop Junkie (the album that "Stay" is on).

You really nailed it though Wags. Just a great job all the way around!

[wagtunes]

Zero. Zilch. Nada. Now that my advice is out of the way...

Awesome track dude! Ha, I should send you the rest of Pop Junkie (the album that "Stay" is on).

You really nailed it though Wags. Just a great job all the way around!

Thanks Jon, but I'm not really 100% happy with it. I won't go into all the details here because I'd be typing for hours. Let's just say I'm having some technical problems after upgrading to Windows 10 and had to use a few workarounds and make some concessions. In the meantime, I have to do some research to see if I can fix some of the problems I now have.

Of course, on the other hand, maybe having to "cut out" some of my ideas actually made the song better because it didn't end up over-produced, which I tend to do.

Also, this song initially started out as a ballad. But it was God awful so I scrapped it, something I don't normally do. I knew I could do better so threw out 2 days of work and started from scratch.

In short, you have created a monster. I don't know where all this is going and I'm sure I'm going to come up with a klunker now and then. Even the Beatles did some really crappy songs (Revolution 9, Why Don't We Do It In The Road, and other stuff from the White Album) but at least I know that from here on in I'm always going to give it 100%.

The days of just slapping stuff together are over.

Thanks to you.

[wagtunes]

Zero. Zilch. Nada. Now that my advice is out of the way...

Awesome track dude! Ha, I should send you the rest of Pop Junkie (the album that "Stay" is on).

You really nailed it though Wags. Just a great job all the way around!

Oh, and yes, you SHOULD send me the rest of Pop Junkie. I'd love to hear it.

[Bansaw]

This is really good. Jeff Lynne is the most underrated songwriter of the 70s/80s . I love a lot of ELO stuff.

Production is better than normal, especially the drums.
Enjoyed the lyrics again. Could this be my favourite wags track. Very probably.
@3:13 great.
This is high quality song writing. A number of professional bands in the 70s might have released this song, and with production and vocals, it would have done well in the charts.

[nirm123]

Hello wags, I've heard the song, pls find my comments below:

What I liked:

The melody is very nice and catchy
the singer (is that you ?) seems to sound very happy singing the song, like he's really into it

Suggestions for improvements:

the lyrics are a bit shallow, they're generic and doesn't say anything about you. this is something you'll have to work on, read the lyrics again and again, see if they reveal anything about you, if they're unique. seems to me that currently you're merely repeating clichés. they lyrics aren'y not your own, but are generic lines instead which is a bit of a shame as you have a unique personality but it doesn't manage to come across in the lyrics.

Also as I tried to imply in other thread, you really need to put aside using synths/samplers. your music screams for real instruments and playing together with people. try once to record a real piano, a real bass player, you'd discover that the difference is huge ! using simulated instruments is great for demos (I'm using it as well) but then consider to replace them when you release the song. try it once, and see the results for yourself. it will make the songs so much more organic and will add an emotional dimension which is now lacking.

[The Noodlist]

This is high quality song writing. A number of professional bands in the 70s might have released this song, and with production and vocals, it would have done well in the charts.

I thought the same, well said.
A bit more analogue sounding wouldn't hurt.

[wagtunes]

This is really good. Jeff Lynne is the most underrated songwriter of the 70s/80s . I love a lot of ELO stuff.

Production is better than normal, especially the drums.
Enjoyed the lyrics again. Could this be my favourite wags track. Very probably.
@3:13 great.
This is high quality song writing. A number of professional bands in the 70s might have released this song, and with production and vocals, it would have done well in the charts.

This is my catching lightning in a bottle. Don't expect all my stuff to sound this good. But then again, who knows? I'm venturing into uncharted territory here. If you heard the original version of this, one that just a few months ago I would have kept, it was awful.

Something got switched on in my brain thanks to Jon and I can't turn it off. I could never produce a song the way I used to ever again. As a result, my days of writing a song a day are over. This shit takes a ton of time to do right.

And again, I'm still not 100% happy with it. But as a demo, yeah, maybe 45 years ago this could have been a hit.

Maybe in my next life.