Sonokinetic Media Composer Competition 2016 "Brothers of Honor"

[mebitek]

Hi guys,
this is my first real attempt to do a trailer music score.
albion one is the main cinematic orchestra instrument:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=e4KD3LiTn74

https://soundcloud.com/mebitek/sonokine ... s-of-honor

made with
Sonokinetic Capriccio
Native Instruments Maschine
Native Instruments Komplete
Output Signal
Spitfire Audio Albion One

hope you can give to me some advices and feedbacks.
regards from Sardinia
Claudio

[annode]

Considering the women at the typewriter seems to be writing about the soldier whose 'dog tags' she holds...it appears to be a tragedy. So I would not have used a major key for this.

[davidstiles]

It's pretty good! Here are the criticisms that occur to me:

1) It's kind of an odd choice, in my view, to have no music at all over the title at the very end. It makes the last few seconds kind of boring when what you probably want is for them to be dramatic.
2) My feeling is that a trailer like this needs more of an evident melodic line. You convey a sense of intensity, but beyond that, the narrative seems a bit unclear.

[mebitek]

thx guys for your comments. interesting point of views.
@annode, the woman is not typeing on wrtie machine, the soldier is typing as he is remembering. however thanks for you feedback.
@davidstiles thanks a lot for you opinion. as the first is a choice of mine your second point is really good. but as I say it is my first time score of my life. Really appreciate your feedback! I'll keep in mind when I'll write something new.
thx again!

[annode]

thx guys for your comments. interesting point of views.
@annode, the woman is not typeing on wrtie machine, the soldier is typing as he is remembering. however thanks for you feedback.

Why I say that, is because the typist is wearing a fluffy sleeved shirt more typical for a woman then a soldier...and secondly and most important, the very next shot shows a woman`s hands hugging a soldier, very predominately. This is typical film technique. The 1st shot is of detached hands and the 2nd shot shows who the hands belong to.
Did anyone in the competition write their score considering this?

[mebitek]

for me is male hands. however for your first question, where do you see the major note? during the hug or where?

[annode]

for me is male hands. however for your first question, where do you see the major note? during the hug or where?

Did you win?
Edit - Too soon I realize now. May 10 votes are in.

[mebitek]

it is impossible that I will win, cause it is my first score of my life. I come form pure electronic music, so for me it is just an experiment as I wrote in the original post.